I have a sweet tooth. I often say that the main course for me is dessert. If I am at a buffet, the first thing I do is check out the dessert corner. If I like the desserts on offer, then I know I must cut back on the earlier dishes.

My wife tries her best to save me from killing myself. She tries to get me to slice off the icing when I eat cakes. For her, the icing is only icing. The real substance is the cake. Icing is a luxury, not an essential.

Many of us tend to think of Christian unity like my wife thinks of icing. It’s nice and sweet, but not really essential. It might even be detrimental (too much sugar!) to the real work of evangelisation and preaching the gospel to everyone. If our Christian churches are united in love, that is a bonus – the icing on the cake. But if we can’t have the icing, it’s not something to worry about. As long as we get the cake baked, we need not have the icing. Just spread the Gospel to everyone.

But if Christian unity is the icing on the cake, then Jesus has a sweet tooth. Jesus thinks that the icing is the more important, more essential part of the cake.

Listen to Jesus’ prayer in John 17:20-21.

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”

Jesus says that the world will believe that Jesus is truly sent from God if Christian disciples have learnt to be more united.

This idea of disciples being united is so important in Jesus’ mind that he repeats his prayer for unity four times in the same passage (See John 17:11, 21, 22 & 23.) Four times, Jesus prays “that (his disciples) may be one, perfectly united.” And in two of those four verses, Jesus makes unity the first step in helping the world believe that Jesus is the Son of God the Father.

So if Christian unity is the icing, then Jesus thinks the icing is of first importance in helping people believe that gospel truth that Jesus is sent from God.

Once upon a time, a mother had two brilliant sons. The first grew up to be the founding partner of a large and successful law firm. The second was also a lawyer – equally successful and respected – and rose to the position of Attorney-General.

Both sons had beautiful families and everyone who knew them admired and praised them for the success they had made of their lives.

Both of them also provided generously for their mother, making sure she had more than enough to live comfortably.

But their mother was not happy.

Oh, of course she loved her sons and was happy that they had done so well for themselves and their own families. But each day, she cries and grieves and prays for them.

Why?

Because her two sons do not get along with each other. Their childhood competitiveness had developed into a fierce rivalry as they grew older. That childhood rivalry is no longer fierce, but it has settled into a permanent coolness and quiet separation. No longer many heated arguments, but certainly no unity and no love. Maybe a reunion dinner once a year, but no real conversation or warmth. They are family by blood, yes, but that is something just to be accepted rather than celebrated. Even their children have little or no interaction with their cousins, and the relationship between these two brothers is best described as one of toleration rather than love, one of distance rather than unity.

Such distance between two sons would make most mothers sad. But particularly so for this Mother. For she was – or at least had been throughout her working life – a much sought-after speaker and author of three best-selling books on How to Nurture Loving Families.

The irony is that her books on Loving Families still sell well, and her two sons proudly promote these books to their friends and clients.

Mother repeatedly urges her sons to love one another. She wants her grandchildren to love one another. Love and unity amongst brothers and sisters is at the heart of all that Mother taught and wrote in her life. She feels somewhat embarrassed at the failure of love within her own family.

Her two sons respond, in agreement for a change. “Don’t be sad, Mum. What’s more important is that we each love you. We’re sorry we can’t really love or relate with each other as brothers, or that our children don’t relate with their cousins. But that’s not so really so important, is it? That’s only icing on the cake, and the cake is what really counts.”

And so the two brothers and their children – and probably their grandchildren – will remain distant and at best, tolerant of each other rather than united in love.

And as for Mother? Mother remains sad. She always loved the icing.

On TRAC Together for God’s Word, Worship, Welcome, Witness and Wonder

Rev Dr Gordon Wong

 

TRAC President

This article was first published in the Apr 2014 issue of the Methodist Message, and is reproduced here with permission.